Fear

I currently have this fear.  Many would probably say it is an irrational fear but it is very real and very alive for me.  It has mostly stemmed from how I have felt getting home after my last two long runs and I experienced it also two years ago when I ran The Great Forest Run for the last time.  It is that feeling of wobbling on your feet, not being able to move any further forward, feeling so hot that you want to vomit and as a last resort, that feeling that you are going to pass out.  I experienced it quite badly after running 26km on Saturday.  This was my longest run to date and one where I was glad I walked in my gate when it did and I sat down as soon as I could.  I had refuelled during the run, had plenty to drink but I just felt like shit basically (excuse my language).  And it took a good hour to feel normal again.  I really made me worried.  Worried about how I am going to get through this marathon.  And this is a real shame because out running on Saturday I felt good mentally, I kept on putting one foot in front of the other.  I finally felt like I could achieve this marathon because of the support of everyone else that will be out there on the day.  And then it hit just as I was arriving home.  I don't want to be one of those people who doesn't make it to the finish line because their body won't let them carry on.  I don't want to collapse as I cross the line either!  I am really very scared about this side of it.  I will be trying again this coming weekend and somehow I need to find a way to put this fear to bed for now!